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#Alternatives to time out for toddlers yale how to#
Here is a great article, “A Better Way to Say Sorry,” about how to guide a child through an apology using a four-step format, 1) “I’m sorry because….”, 2) “This is wrong because….”, 3) “Next time I will….” and 4) “Will you forgive me?”. When we do this, we run the risk of teaching our children that an apology is meaningless. However, apologies become less effective if they are forced on a child as a consequence for misbehavior. An apology can be a very meaningful thing and help to repair disruptions in relationships. Often, children are forced to “say sorry” after a wrongdoing. You can also substitute a new toy or activity to distract your child from the source of frustration, and say, “It looks like this toy is making your frustrated let’s play with this instead.” Then, make sure to praise any behavior that is appropriate. This involves moving the child to a different area or removing a toy or object until the child’s behavior has improved. This is often the simplest way to intervene when your child is misbehaving and it is a particularly helpful strategy for younger children who may have difficulty remembering rules and using self-control. If you find yourself giving your child “do-overs” repeatedly, you might need to consider another method. This strategy is best used for rare occasions. Can you try that again saying please?” This serves two purposes: It gives your child a warning that their behavior was not acceptable and it also helps your child practice the appropriate behavior. You might try saying something like, “You didn’t use nice words when you asked your Grandmother for another slice of pizza. For such minor misbehavior, try letting your child know that their behavior was not acceptable, but they can try again. Sometimes your child may behave impulsively in a moment of excitement or frustration, even when they know the rules. If you do decide to incorporate time-out, be sure to check out this post to learn how to do an effective time-out with your child. Often times, challenging behavior can be reduced by providing attention and praise for behaviors you want to see immediately after they occur. These strategies are best for times when your child is misbehaving in a minor way (if a child is engaging in dangerous or aggressive behavior, immediate parent intervention and removal from the situation is best).Īnd, just a reminder, the most important tool of all is consistent and specific praise for appropriate behavior. There are many other discipline strategies that you can use in combination with or as alternatives to time-out. However, some parents may want to approach challenging behavior without the use of a consequence that can evoke many strong, negative emotions.
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Time-out can be an effective discipline technique for many children. Lindsay Evans, additions made Decemby Amanda Dixon
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